Leading Ain't Easy
Leadership looks shiny on social media. But the reality is it’s messy, isolating, and full of self-doubt. Leading Ain’t Easy pulls back the curtain on the side of leadership nobody puts on their résumé.
Hosted by Ryan Calkins (Marine Corps veteran, career/leadership coach, and founder of Reframe & Rise) and Erny Epley (public-sector leader and founder of Bus Pro Network), this show dives into the raw, unfiltered truths of leading others; whether it’s in the military, the public sector, or the private world of business.
We’re not here with corporate buzzwords or textbook definitions. Instead, you’ll hear:
- Honest stories about the challenges and failures that shaped us.
- Real conversations about the doubts and decisions leaders wrestle with every day.
- Lessons, frameworks, and laughs that remind you you’re not alone in the struggle.
Episodes run 45-60 minutes (long enough to go deep, short enough for a commute) and drop weekly. Some weeks it’s just us, other weeks we’ll bring in guests (current and aspiring leaders) to share their own unfiltered journeys.
If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re cut out for this role, questioned yourself after making a hard call, or felt like a fraud even with the title… this podcast is for you.
Because leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Leading Ain't Easy
Episode 5 - The Cost of Being the Good Guy
Being the “good guy” at work sounds great on paper.
You’re empathetic. You listen. You try to do right by people. You avoid unnecessary conflict. You take the high road, even when it stings a little.
But over time, that version of leadership can start to cost you.
In this episode, Erny and Ryan unpack what happens when being the good guy quietly slides into people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, and eventually burnout.
We get into:
- How empathy can quietly turn into people-pleasing
- Erny’s story of letting small behavior slide until it became a fairness and favoritism problem
- Why “being the hero” for your team can actually make everything harder
- Holding people accountable without becoming the office hard-ass
- The emotional weight of being everyone’s “go-to” person
- Why good-guy leaders burn out faster than we want to admit
- How to set boundaries before you hit the “I’m done” wall
- Being honest when you’re not at 100%, and how to lean on your team
- Doing the right thing even when it costs you time, energy, or popularity
We’re not telling you to stop being the good guy. The point is to stay compassionate without losing yourself; to care about your people and hold the line on what your role actually requires.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’m trying to do right by everyone… so why am I the one who’s exhausted?” this one’s for you.
Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.
- Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
- Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.
Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.
Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.
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